I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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