Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
