I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
