Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
