He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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