I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
