i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
