Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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