I've blown a few things in my day
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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