i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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