lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
