omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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