Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
