cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
