im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize