ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
