So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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