He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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