I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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