he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I supernannyed him into submission
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
