To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
