Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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