I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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