Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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