white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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