What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
