Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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