Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
