If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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