Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
