I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
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Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
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Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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