i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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