i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
