Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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