The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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