Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize