I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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