I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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