Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She bit a glass in half.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.