Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.