Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Already got asked if we're dating

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  (313): Already got asked if we're dating http://tfl.nu/nrdc
  Replies (3) Good night (1377) Bad night (1963)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer

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  (201): we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer http://tfl.nu/68pg
  Replies (39) Good night (2930) Bad night (762)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.

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  (314): Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest. http://tfl.nu/8ll2
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (3083)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back

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  (205): Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back http://tfl.nu/8qqz
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (2754)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....

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  (806): You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping.... http://tfl.nu/mb43
  Replies (6) Good night (3464) Bad night (1450)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

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  (615): Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist http://tfl.nu/58no
  Replies (8) Good night (1631) Bad night (769)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.

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  (541): I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now. http://tfl.nu/mv3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1584) Bad night (748)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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  (715): An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all. http://tfl.nu/7eme
  Replies (12) Good night (3889) Bad night (887)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands

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  (360): you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands http://tfl.nu/td11
  Replies (5) Good night (1600) Bad night (582)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (780)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.

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  (214): You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted. http://tfl.nu/igqi
  Replies (7) Good night (2460) Bad night (624)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me

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  (270): I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me http://tfl.nu/n5ey
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You get 5 min

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.

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  (734): You get 5 min (586): Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative. http://tfl.nu/1qfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt

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  (860): I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt http://tfl.nu/f4bb
  Replies (3) Good night (182) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.

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  (814): I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest. http://tfl.nu/xdou
  Replies (4) Good night (150) Bad night (320)

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