as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
