'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
