It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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