I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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