I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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