He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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