I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
