I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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