Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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