thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
