No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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