8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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