she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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