I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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