Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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