why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
