areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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