We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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