The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i will never coherently bang her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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