Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
